Breaking News!

For all bloggers and those who love to blog.. heres a chance to enter ur name in the guiness book of world records..:P
ther has been a suggestion of having a blog marathon on 1st of april.. where people have to keep posting blogs for 26 hrs..
for more news.. check out this website[www.blogmarathon.blogspot.com]

it would b better if we all register.. since very few from india have regisitered.. it would b an honor tht indians have made an imp. contribution to the record.. and we can show to the bloggin world tht.. indian bloggin atmosphere is alive and kicking..

hoping to see.. most of u.. on april 1st..:)

Entangled in a Web

Musing about depressing thoughts and things lately... i wonder why i'm so down?!? not much reason, really, i mean, what could someone want that i haven't already got?!? it's really silly sometimes when i muse about things and jus can't come up with a reason to explain my mood... perhaps it's jus tiredness... but perhaps it's more than jus that... perhaps so many things jus rolled into one web of entanglement, me the insect trapped in the middle flapping its wings in vain to escape its sticky grasp... the spider is sin, and i am its next dinner, except for God's salvation thru Jesus Christ... yet this insect doesn't always recognise this truth...

Caught in the web with me are so many other insects... sometimes i want to know them, they could be my friends... but sometimes what i want is not so much to know them, but to feel appreciated and needed in a way... it's terrible sometimes, the feeling that the world could do without you... i mean, i remember thinking about some of my friends from the past, too many of whom i've jus completely lost touch with... and wondering, they mus be doing so well now, with so many interesting things to keep them alive and seeking truth, wanting more... it is they who so often seemed content with life, and it is they to whom i looked when i wanted a model to follow... i imagine them all together in groups, laughing and enjoying one another's company... i'm happy that they're happy, but i leave myself out of the picture... they don't need me, in fact they're doing jus fine, perhaps even better without me... mostly, i'm jus like a fly on the wall, at best an accessory, at worst an annoyance or distraction... maybe that's why they haven't stayed in touch, replied to my emails, or anything... a terrible realisation dawns, perhaps i'm not so real to them after all?!?

then i look at myself and those who remain in my circle... i suppose, they come and go... but equally, i look at them and realise their sufficiency and happiness, and wonder whether they will go the way of those who have entered the bowels of my past?!? neither needing nor wanting anything to do with me... i know this is such a selfish attitude to have, but its relevance is jus too clear sometimes... then, i'm sure it goes on to affect the way i deal with others... i whine and cry, i crave attention... i move myself into the way in order to be seen, because nobody likes to be ignored, but i'm sure i do no more than invite the ire of those who i disturb... i become more desperate, clinging onto the strands that connect me to others, only to pull too tightly with possessiveness and end up snapping the strands... little remains, only memories and schemata for me to play around with, hope for the future now a discarded remnant of what i remember... once again, i might as well be alone in this sticky web of entanglement, waiting for sin to engulf me...

As the spider draws near, inclement weather arrives and wracks the web, and a thread comes loose and me with it... i'm carried away from the menacing predator, its jaws ready to strike with ferocity... but that too, those open jaws, are but a remnant of what i remember too... i am carried through the air, til i land on a leafy green paradise, so many more insects like myself to be with!!! we have much in common, and we share stories... most often we talk about the wind that saved us, but sometimes we talk about the past too... i discover that i wasn't alone in my frustrations... loneliness followed us like a plague, but the more we tried to cling to others, the more lonely we became... but we are never lonely now... we have each other, and most of all, we have God, who sent the winds of salvation... how much more do we need to know that we are loved?!? how much more do we need to seek our own worth?!?

praise God, for His Son, and for His love, which never fails... may we never forget that we are all worth something, to one another, and above all else, to God...

My Intepretation of Dreams!

i m a sleepoholic.. i sleep for over 9 hrs a day.. and i m a kind of guy who hates wastin time.. so here.. i see dream as a boon..
Dreams r always special for me.. its like., You are entering a mysterious and fascinatin world of dreams wher the rules of reality doesnt apply.. its like a story of a movie.. wher u dont control anythin..

by definition.. A Dream is a mental process, usually in the form of a series of imagined events occuring during certain phases of sleep. Its an interface between the process of life and our conscious personality. Dreams can be an expression of what is happening in the physical body.. They can be a source of insight and information derived from our memory, experience and subconscious. Sometimes.. these dreams do influence our decisions in real life..

Dreams r classified into various types.. according to some researchers.. take a peek view into this site .. for more information..
my classification is simple.. daydreams and dreams during night..

daydreams occur when u imagine somethin strongly.. and suddenly u let ur imagination get carried away.. the sequence of events which occur is not controlled by ur mind.. and when u finally wake up.. u are way ahead of wht u were thinkin when u were conscious..
these dreams dont last long.. and u tend to remember them most of the time.. after u wake up..

dreams which occur during night r random.. but most of them have somethin to do with an activity which has bothered you.. or u have been doin for most of the time during day.. these dreams last longer.. and u most probably wont remember them when u wake up.. and even if u do.. then vaguely

sometimes.. u do get disturbed in ur sleep.. u wake up suddenly and realise tht u were in a middle of a dream.. now thers possibility tht when u go back to sleep.. u can continue from wher u left..
well.. this may sound absurd.. but its true in some cases.. it definitely happens in my case.. this is often refered as lucid state of dreaming.. they become an active participant in their dream.. make decisions in their dreams and influence the dream's outcome without awakening.

i even have the strange experience of having the same dream.. twice.. no kidding.. i cant believe myself.. i have talked this over with many of my friends.. and most of them say they have never heard of such a thin before.. does this imply anythin at all?!!
well.. i m an avid dreamer.. and i guess such things will happen with me..

Anniversary ..

well.. today is my anniversary day..
nope.. its nothin related to my birthday.. or marriage.. god bless if i ever get married..
its my one month anniversary of blogging..:)

30 freakin days have passed since.. i created my blog account.. i never thought i would manage to survive for this long.. not only did i survive.. i managed to scribble down some 15 odd posts in here.. althou pretty much worthless blogs..

well.. i started writin blogs.. so tht i can match the creativity of some bloggers around here.. i know i can never even come close to them.. but i dont care.. i m enjoyin every bit of my time here..
for this.. i have to thank all of them.. who wasted their time.. reading some of my blogs.. and commentin on them.. it really gave me a propulsion to continue blogging..

people say.. blogging is a girls job.. they r the ones who spend their whole time.. writing abt personal stuff...(no offense meant to anyone.. hehe)
for the stats.. 75% of the blogs.. are by girls.
althou.. i cant spend time like them.. i sure would like to spend whtever time i manage to free.. from my schedule for blogging.. hehe

i still feel sad for the fact tht.. very few people visit my blog.. althou the stats are showing positive signs..
i promise to write some useful blog.. soon..

So Far Away From Me

i dedicate this song to someone who i sorely miss.. without whom, my life has become dull & boring.. hope u enter into my life soon..

Here I am again in this mean old town
And you’re so far away from me
And where are you when the sun goes down
You’re so far away from me

So far away from me
So far I just can’t see
So far away from me
You’re so far away from me

I’m tired of being in love and being all alone
When you’re so far away from me
I’m tired of making out on the telephone
And you’re so far away from me

I get so tired when I have to explain
When you’re so far away from me
See you been in the sun and I’ve been in the rain
And you’re so far away from me

this song is by Dire Straits.. who recently had a concert in bangalore, India

Valuable Lesson Learnt

04/02 goes down into my history as one of the worst days ever. I missed out on somethin which could have been my future. well.. i m talkin about a company interview.. which i screwed up big time.

today morning.. well its actually yesterday night.. when my friend gave me the good news tht i had been selected for the final interview. The company involved was Sabre Airline Solutions.. which deals with customers and airline companies as consultancy group and an agent. I had attended the presentation abt the job profile in the company... and i instantly felt this is it.. this is wht i had been looking for.

i got up pretty early.. had a haircut.. ironed my clothes.. and went for the interview which was supposed to b held at 9:00 am sharp. i was surprisingly confident that day.. and not nervous and shaky .. which i always am before an interview.

inside the interview room.. i was well greeted by the interviewer. My confidence grew. the interviewer looked like a friendly man. he started with a few normal question any one would ask in an interview..like 'tell me more abt u?'.. 'ur strengths and weakness'.. blah blah blah.
He then took a glance at my resume. in my software skills.. i had listed C/C++ and java(basic).
he started asking me.. questions on GUI and applets in java.. i had no idea of applets. i had clearly mentioned basic Java.. but i failed to understand tht.. basic Java for them is like knowing everythin. i explained to him tht.. by basic java i meant only classes and objects.. but by then.. my first impression had blown. by the time the topic was over.. i was downhearted and aghast.
to pep me up.. the interviewer asked me questions on C/C++.. but the essence of the interview was already gone.. i knew it was over.
in all.. the interview lasted for a mere 20 min..

when.. i came out of the hall.. i had a chat with a friend of mine.. who had interview before me. he told me tht he wasnt asked a single question on programming.. cause he had mentioned nothin in his resume.

I went back to my room and realised the mistake i had done. Never mention too many things in ur resume.. Be brief and only point out things i which u r expert at. I feel horrible tht i had to learn this after my interview.

yet another valuable lesson learnt.. but in a painful way.
this kept haunting me all night.. but i will have to get over it sometim or the other. As my friend mEi said.. ther will always b another chance..